Thursday, January 5, 2017

Travel Runner

I am a travel runner. I don't know of any other way to describe my passionate pursuits. Ive been a travel runner for about 3 years now, but I only just realized it this past week. How did this realization come about?

Around late December and early January, I get into vacation planning mode.  This is when I determine where my next big adventure will be.I had always thought I was more of a photographer than a runner, so I picked vacation destinations that are quite scenic or had lots of birds.  But what I have really done is pick vacations that revolve around a running theme, such as a quirky race or a meditative running course.  

For example, in 2015 I found a 10k in Nova Scotia called "Not Since Moses". Its a crossing of the Bay of Fundy before the world's highest tide came in. I built my whole vacation around this race.  There was mud.  A lot of mud. It's rather difficult to train for mud. And there was a water crossing, which was nice because it cleaned off much of the mud from my shoes and legs.   

After this vacation, I determined I would run a 25k in my hometown.  I trained for it faithfully. In fact I was a little too faithful to the training plan and I got sick and injured my hamstring.I did the 25k and I was happy to be done with it.But the injury got me thinking " What if there comes a day when I cannot run anymore?"  This question plagued me for months.  I had to find a way to have a better relationship with my running practice.  At this point, when I was feeling vulnerable and frightened due to the injury, I was in a state of desperation.  I must run.  I must always run.  Running allows me to think clearly. I am a runner. If I can't run, then who am I?

And that question pestered me. If I can't run, then who am I? My persona had been so intertwined with running that I couldn't separate myself from it. And I feared that if I couldn't run, then the essence of me would simply crumble.

So because of this, I decided to attend a different kind of running course.This was Running with the Mind of Meditation at the Shambhala Center in Feather Lakes, Colorado. I went there under the assumption that I would learn to have a better relationship with my running.  I got exactly what I wanted. I learned that I am not just a runner.I am so much more than that. I learned that it's OK to let go of the competitiveness, the desperation, the fear. True, I may not always be able to run or I may just have to run a lot less in the future.  But for now I can. I can run on my own terms. I may never run a marathon.  I may never complete a 50k. But I no longer feel the pressure to do so. I have let go of those people and social media outlets that make me feel small or incompetent because I haven't done these things. My running practice belongs to me. My goals and accomplishments are mine alone. No one need know about them.  

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