5 more days 'til I can run...ahhhh!

I had surgery about 2 weeks ago to tighten up some loose skin and to put body parts back to where they were before gaining and then losing 125 pounds. It's  stunning how the human body can expand and shrink so much! But the skin can only take so much and I was left looking like a deflated balloon.

So I fixed it. I couldnt stand looking at myself, or, heaven forbid, having someone else look at my floppy, wrinkly skin. It wasn't an easy decision, as mom didn't  survive cosmetic surgery due to a pulmonary embolism after abdominoplasty with liposuction. But I had some genetic blood testing done for blood clotting disorders and all came out negative. Also, my surgery wasn't  all that invasive. It was skin excision and sewing me back up tighter than before.

So here I am, happy with my new silhouette. So happy! I can wear tank tops now without having skin spilling out from my underarms. But I haven't been able to run since the surgery more than 2 weeks ago and my next follow-up isn't for another 5 days. I pray I get clearance to run. It is so hard to watch others as they merrily trot down the street each morning. I walk a minimum of 3 miles per day, so I am moving. I want to move faster though.

I am taking solace in other activities.  I joined the gym and am allowed to do lower body exercises. My thighs are going to be huge! I also work in my woodshop at night. I am currently building an outdoor chair.

5 more days. I can build a lot of chairs between now and then.

The Dreaded Knee Problem

It was bound to happen, I suppose. Every runner must get injured eventually, right? It's just a matter of when. I thought my relatively minor hamstring pull of early 2016 was the injury. After that was healed, everything would be ok. I could count my lucky stars and move on.

But a little over a month ago, I really noticed some aching in my right knee. It was vague and itcrarely troubled me while i ran. It just troubled me every minute i wasnt running. And it started to affect my  walking gait and going down stairs became troublesome.

I made a doctors appointment, but the appointment was over 3 weeks away. I hoped the problem would resolve itself and i could just forget the whole thing. I decided i had to do something while i waited for my appointment. Maybe some shoe inserts or a knee brace? I them liked at the soles of my rjnning sneakers. They were worn paper thin. I had poor over 400 miles on these shoes. It's little wonder my buddy ached. I immediately bought new sneakers and within about 3 runs the knee pain was markedly better. After a week it was almost gone.

My appointment day arrived and i seriously conspired cancelling. The problem was almost gone. Going downstairs was almost normal again. But it wasn't all perfect, so i kept the appointment. I felt silly complaining, but the doctor immediately noticed swelling and she said there could be an injury to the meniscus. My heart sank.

Is this the end of my running, i thought?  How could it be? I just put down a deposit for my running vacation in late April, thirty-six miles of trail running in northern California. I cant miss it.

So i did what everyone does after they get a diagnosis. I googled it. Running with meniscus injury. My prospects seem ok for road running, but i may have some trouble on trails.

So I may not be able to run as much of the trail vacation as I want, but so long as I can still walk and hike, I will be ok. Its not exactly what I want, but I would rather save my knee for hiking than to ruin it for everything else by injuring it further.

So tonight, and probably for many nights to come, I will ice my knee. I will keep it above my heart whenever possible. I will wear my brace. I may have to avoid trail running or go very easy on trails. VERY EASY.

This may  make my weight loss efforts a bit more difficult, but if I truly watch my diet closely, I think I can still lose the 8 pounds I have gained.  Its just very important that I dont make this minor injury into something major.

Travel Runner

I am a travel runner. I don't know of any other way to describe my passionate pursuits. Ive been a travel runner for about 3 years now, but I only just realized it this past week. How did this realization come about?

Around late December and early January, I get into vacation planning mode.  This is when I determine where my next big adventure will be.I had always thought I was more of a photographer than a runner, so I picked vacation destinations that are quite scenic or had lots of birds.  But what I have really done is pick vacations that revolve around a running theme, such as a quirky race or a meditative running course.  

For example, in 2015 I found a 10k in Nova Scotia called "Not Since Moses". Its a crossing of the Bay of Fundy before the world's highest tide came in. I built my whole vacation around this race.  There was mud.  A lot of mud. It's rather difficult to train for mud. And there was a water crossing, which was nice because it cleaned off much of the mud from my shoes and legs.   

After this vacation, I determined I would run a 25k in my hometown.  I trained for it faithfully. In fact I was a little too faithful to the training plan and I got sick and injured my hamstring.I did the 25k and I was happy to be done with it.But the injury got me thinking " What if there comes a day when I cannot run anymore?"  This question plagued me for months.  I had to find a way to have a better relationship with my running practice.  At this point, when I was feeling vulnerable and frightened due to the injury, I was in a state of desperation.  I must run.  I must always run.  Running allows me to think clearly. I am a runner. If I can't run, then who am I?

And that question pestered me. If I can't run, then who am I? My persona had been so intertwined with running that I couldn't separate myself from it. And I feared that if I couldn't run, then the essence of me would simply crumble.

So because of this, I decided to attend a different kind of running course.This was Running with the Mind of Meditation at the Shambhala Center in Feather Lakes, Colorado. I went there under the assumption that I would learn to have a better relationship with my running.  I got exactly what I wanted. I learned that I am not just a runner.I am so much more than that. I learned that it's OK to let go of the competitiveness, the desperation, the fear. True, I may not always be able to run or I may just have to run a lot less in the future.  But for now I can. I can run on my own terms. I may never run a marathon.  I may never complete a 50k. But I no longer feel the pressure to do so. I have let go of those people and social media outlets that make me feel small or incompetent because I haven't done these things. My running practice belongs to me. My goals and accomplishments are mine alone. No one need know about them.